In Defense of Dave Pelzer

Yesterday, I finished Dave Pelzer’s debut memoir, A Child Called “It”. Let’s just say I had a lot of thoughts, both on the book’s contents and the controversy surrounding it. It’s important to note that I will not be talking about this like your average grisly fiction meant to satisfy a reader’s bloodlust. This is a real childhood abuse case that happened to a real person, and I will attempt to argue my points as respectfully as possible.

Who Is Dave Pelzer?

In 1995, Dave Pelzer stirred up the nation with his memoir, A Child Called “It”. The book centers around his relationship with his mother, who spiraled into alcoholism and abused Dave by subjecting him to what she called “games”. These “games” included any fucked up scenario you can possibly imagine—beatings, burning him on a hot stove, forcing him to eat ammonia and feces, etcetera, etcetera. His writing managed to shock, pull the heartstrings, and enrage over three million people. However, being a best-selling author often comes with the price of backlash. To this day, controversy still surrounds the graphic nature of Dave’s portrayals of the abuse, and certain readers loudly question the integrity of his content.

There were several things I liked about this book, but I also have many criticisms. All in all, I consider this a three-star read. However, I will defend Dave Pelzer against the accusations of falsehood until the day I die.

My Opinion of the Book

First off, the things I liked. While many people see the matter-of-a-fact and simple writing style as a deficit, I appreciated the lack of flowery fluff. I love how Dave doesn’t sugarcoat what he’s been through, and that he tells it as it is, in all its horrificness (if that’s even a word. Eh, it fits). Every time Dave swears he is going to stand tall, I get a jolt of pride for this poor child. Even as a young thing, Pelzer showed unspeakable strength, which I find incredibly admirable. My favorite part is the epilogue, where Pelzer features how he broke the cycle and loves his son more than anything on this earth. I had tears streaming down my face during that epilogue.

Now for the parts that could’ve been better. My main criticism of this book is that it’s marketed as an inspirational “self-help” type of deal, but I’m not getting that vibe from the text. From reading, I’m getting the feeling that Pelzer wanted to showcase the terrifying nature of the abuse, not to help people get through similar situations. The tagline reads “one child’s courage to survive”, yet I could only identify a couple of points where he showed that courage. Yes, I felt incredibly proud of him the few times he stood tall, yet there weren’t enough of those instances for this to count as a self-help book. Pelzer also never answered the burning question that many readers had: Why? Why did his mother start abusing Dave? Why did she only hurt him and not the other children? Why did his father do nothing about it despite previously acting lovingly toward him? Why did the other children accept this as normal when they were more than old enough to know it wasn’t? Okay, I get that Dave might not have known the answers to these questions himself. However, I still felt like they needed to be addressed, and the book ended with them still on my mind.

Keeping all the praise and criticisms in mind, I hereby declare this book a 3-star read.

Accusations of Falsehood

After reading books, I often turn to Goodreads to explore other people’s perspectives and see if anyone else had the same reaction, or if I’m just a crazy person (usually, both statements are true). However, I was shocked to see that the top reviews for A Child Called “It”, are mostly one and two-star reviews. Most of their reasoning stems from the fact that Dave Pelzer’s claims are disputed.

In 2002, the New York Times released an article questioning the validity of Pelzer’s claims. Two family members had come forward saying that the entire book is made up, and the author of the article points out details that he believes debunk Pelzer’s novel.

Authors sometimes falsify memoirs—yes, it happens. For example, there is strong evidence that James Frey’s A Million Little Pieces, a novel that exploded with popularity in the early 2000s, was mostly made up. However, I have reason to believe Dave is telling the truth. Through this article, I will be unpacking and disputing claims that Goodreads reviewers made.

“His grandmother and brother said Dave was lying, so he must be!”

Many people jump to believe these family members’ claims because there is little evidence that Dave is telling the truth. However, where is the evidence that the family is telling the truth when they deny his experience? “B-b-but Atlas! Dave has reasons to lie. He wants attention and money!” You don’t think the grandmother and brother also have something to gain by lying? You don’t think an abusive family has motives for lying about not being an abusive family?

Pelzer’s grandmother rarely visited the family and had know way of knowing whether the abuse happened, anyway. Plus, the person being accused is her DAUGHTER. Of course grandma doesn’t want to believe that her daughter would gas a literal child with ammonia and bleach—who would want to believe their baby would do such a thing? She’s probably doing all sorts of mental gymnastics because she can’t accept that her daughter would do this. Also, many parents defend their children against crimes they know they committed. Think of how many parents have fought alongside their sons against damning evidence that they assaulted someone.

As for the brother? Of course he doesn’t want Dave to publicly state that he was complicit in the abuse (although he was also a child at the time). In the notorious stabbing scene, the brothers chanted something along the lines of “the boy’s gonna die”. Gee, I wonder why he doesn’t want to be associated with that?

Also, many other family members, as well as friends and teachers, have stood by Dave and confirmed his stories. His other brother, Richard Pelzer, even wrote his own book about the abuse.

“He didn’t include any identifying information about anyone!”

Look, bestie, I mean no disrespect but…tell me you know nothing about memoirs without telling me you know nothing about memoirs. One of the number one rules of writing any sort of creative nonfiction is that you absolutely should not identify anyone, especially if you put that person in a negative light. That means no real names and limiting the use of physical descriptors, or at least using them fictitiously. This lack of identifying information isn’t a sign of a liar, but a sign of someone wanting to avoid a lawsuit. Even using his real name was a bold choice, as most memoir writers like to publish anonymously to further protect themselves from libel allegations.

“How could he possibly remember all those details?”

In the Goodreads reviews, many questions were raised as to how he could possibly remember certain details—like the breeze in his hair, or a rattle of a bush, or blood blooming on his shirt. To that, I say: yes, those details were probably added for effect. However, this goes back to basic memoir writing. When writing a memoir, the author must alter certain details to make the writing more compelling. Adding sensory details adds to the experience, and I don’t think adding a breeze in the hair or a certain smell is a crime or the sign of a liar. Imagine writing a story of your own life exactly the way you remember it, without adding any additional details. Boring, right? Yeah, adding some blood on the shirt doesn’t make Dave Pelzer a liar.

In Conclusion

One of the hardest things about being a childhood abuse survivor is people telling you that you’re lying or exaggerating. It breaks my heart when I see people rush to support the family members so quickly. Part of society’s eagerness to discredit Pelzer probably stems from our tendency to victim blame, as most people don’t want to believe that things like this can and do happen. I’ve seen people dissect the dialect and tone of every word coming out of Pelzer’s mouth during interviews, searching for a reason to discredit him. It’s sad, honestly. But as an abuse survivor myself (although my case was much less severe), I will stand by Dave Pelzer until the day I die.

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